Welcome to the Pretty-Gau, Mr. Trump

US-Präsident Donald Trump kommt ans Weltwirtschaftsforum (WEF) nach Davos. Das berichten die Nachrichtenagentur Reuters sowie die «New York Times» unter Berufung auf Aussagen eines Regierungsmitarbeiters und der Regierungssprecherin Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Wir von GRHeute hätten da noch ein paar empfehlenswerte Sehenswürdigkeiten auf dem Weg dorthin, darum dieser Brief.

Dear Mr. Trump!
As we all know, you come to the WEF and it will be HUGE this time.
On the way to Davos you pass through the beautiful Chöttihammertal.
And at the WEF, they will not get what you mean.
So stay for a moment in the Prättigau.
It has good air, so your brain will maybe work a little bit better after a short rest here.
People in those little villages are just a little bit like you.

We say: Schi sait / You say: She says.
You want the build a wall / we all got the «Schlössli».
You don’t like the Mexicans / most of us don’t like the people from zurich.
You got Bruce Springsteen / we got Bartli Valär.

It’s not so HUGE like the USA, but it is also pretty.
The original name of the few little villages are Pretty-Gau, so you know, beauty lives here.
I come from a small village with the original name «yeah-nuts», got it?
Some people also call it the Rhätisch Kongo. (Liars!)

I know the people in St.Moritz are superrich like you.
But well, we’re pretty good in politics.
A few hundert years ago, we bought us free from the Austrians. (Losers!)

So if all this reasons can’t help to visit our beautiful valley, covfefe, äh let it be.

With billions and billions and billions best wishes.

From the Lügenpresse
Chris Bluemoon

(By the way don’t burn the world down.)